Wake Up, Jeff
by Xxdaddy5p0rtacu5xX
Summary: Jeff in asleep in a coma. What will the other Wiggles do?
1. Chapter 1

The year was 1875. It was the time of cowboys in Amierica, and cause it was the 70s, disco cowboys ran a muck in the streets of Wiggle Town. They hated every one that was not a part of disco because disco was obvi the best and regular dusty cowboys were boring. Dicso cowboys liked to wear sequins and afros and they thot that every body else looked boring like they just went to a funeral for a pile of dirt and then tripped and fell into a pile of taxes.

Greg, Murray, Anthony, and Jeff all lived in Wiggle Town and they loved it because they were wiggles and the town was named after them even thou they didn't really do anything special except wear the same shirt every day. On one day Greg went to wake up all the other wiggles because he was the leader and it was his job as mom.

"Murray wake up!" said Greg very loud because Murray was very asleep. His gf Daisy the Dinosaur was still in his bed from last night when they did u kno what together all night. She did not move probably because she is a dinosaur so she doesn't have to listen to what Gre g says since she could eat him like a granola bar. Dinosaurs don't eat granola bars but they could if they wanted they do what they want.

Murray woke up and rolled over onto his back since he had been sleeping on his stomach.

"WHAT THE FUKC MURR?!11" yelled Greg again very loud. Murray still had a boner from last night and his huge man cock was poking out from the blankets. It looked like a tent. Greg now understood why Murray's gf was a dinosaur because she had a dinosaur vagina big enough to hold Murray's dinosaur dick penis without dying.

Greg ran out of the room because he was not a homo and didin't not like seeing his bro's pemis this early in the morning. It was 8:30 so it was early in the morning.

Greg moved on to wake up his next friend Anthony who he did not like as much as Murray because Anthony was kind of an asshole and also a gay homo fag but he would never tell him that.

"Anthony wake up" Greg said except not as loud as he did to Murray because Greg did not like Anthony as much as Murray so he hoped that maybe Anthony would not wake up ever. Greg wanted Anthony to fucking die.

Anthony did not wake up, which made Greg excited and he almost got a boner a little bit at the idea of dead Anthony so he pulled the blue blankets off of the blue bed and threw it them onto the blue floor where Anthony's blue shirt was. Anthony was a slob he didn not put his laundry away at night like the rest of the wiggles did.

"NOO" said greg as he looked at the bed and saw his not friend sleeping there naked wif his boyfried Captain Feathersword. Both of them were homo gays together and they both wre naked in bed like disgusting trash. Greg felt like throwing up like when u eat too much taco bell too fast and decide that no u don't have to poop right now u can hold it but u cant so u throw up instead. Greg was a homeofobe. Anthony stirred and started to wake up so Greg ran away because he did not want to talk to Anthony right now.

Greg went to wake up his 3rd firend Jeff who he liked more than Anthony but not as much as Murray. Greg only had 3 friends.

"Jeff u have to wake up you lazy asshole" said Greg to Jeff. Jeff did not wake up, but this was normal of Jeff because he was narcoleptic and did not wake up sometimes. Jeff was not normal and he got bullied sometimes. He was mainly bullied by Anthony but soemtiems Greg helped.

"Jeff wake up or im gonna bully you" said Greg. That usually made Jeff wake up because who likes being bullied nobody that's who.

Greg got impatient with Jeff because he had things to do and Jeff was wasting his morning so he went over and shook on Jeff's shoulder. He sometimes had to get physical, physical with Jeff or he wouldn't wake up because he sucked. Jeff still did not wake up.

"UHHGSHSH" Greg gasped. Jeff did not wake up because he was in a comma!


	2. Chapter 2

All of the other 3 wiggles gathered around jeff's bed in jeff's room where jeff's was sleeping in his comma. They did not kno how this had happened so they called in the only doctor they knew to look at Jeff for answers.

Dr. Verygood looked at Jeff for afew minutes from across the room. She did not want to get close to him because what if he had a disease she did not want? If it was a disease she did want that would be a different story, like Ebola, but she didn't know what he had.

"I think your purple guy is sick" she said. She was a doctor, so she would know.

"Do you know what's wrong with him?" asked Murray who had finally put his throbbing member away and not inside of his dino gf.

"No I don't but I can tell you that he is im an comma. He might not wake up ever but I don't know I'm a doctor not a future teller." Said she.

 _I wish Anthony was the one in a comma and not Jeff_ thought Greg in Australian. He hated Anthony a lot.

"Oh no, poor Jeff.." said Anthony sadly. He probably didn't really care that much since gays don't have feelings but it was nice of him to say.

"Well, good luck." Said Dr. Verygood and she left. She was not much help.

The three wiggles that weren't Jeff got closer to their sleepy, sleepy friend. Anthony was trying to hide his homo boner, but he wasn't doing a very good job. Murray got a glimpse of Anthony's sinful boner and got one too. Murray was a bicycle so it was ok because he slept with girls even if the girls were also dinosaurs.

"What are we going to do?" asked Murray. Nobody knew, but they all knew who had done this: the Disco Cowboys.


	3. Chapter 3

Nobody knew what they were going to do about the Disco Cowboys. After all, it was the 1870s so they were the most powerful people in Wiggle Town, even more powerful than the Wiggles who the town was named after for a reason that nobody knows.

"Well no matter what we do," said Greg, "we have to help our kind of friend Jeff." Murray and Anthony nodded in response to the words Greg said, because they agreed with him. Nobody really liked Jeff that much because he slept all day like you do when you party too much the night before, but Jeff never went to any parties, because he was always sleeping.

"Oh, and Anthony." Said Greg again. "You're not allowed anywhere near Jeff until we can get him to wake up."

"Well why not?" asked Anthony in a state of confusion because his friend was being mean to him for absolutely no reason at all.

"Because you're gay and everybody knows that gays have no control over their actions."

"Well that's just racist."

"No it isn't, it's homeophobic and I hate you." Greg and Anthony looked at each other in an angry way. Greg did not like Anthony because Greg was just a bad person, and Anthony did not like Greg anymore because he had shown his true colors in the span of a few seconds during the conversation that they just had.

"You are both assholes." Said Murray. A laugh track played from somewhere in the room but none of the three Wiggles could figure out where it was coming from so they just decided to ignore it. Instead of investigating further, the three Wiggles decided to go out and try to find clues about their speeling friend's afflicton.

As they went to leave their Wiggle house, each of them grabbed their Wiggle cowboy hat that matched their shirts and put them on. This is a Western so cowboy hats are required. They did not have sequins on them though because the Wiggles were not a part of the disco cowboys and did not believe in extravagance except for Anthony. Anthony's hat had a sparkly rainbow flag sticking out of the back of it because he believed that he needed to show everyone the pride he had about the fact that he was a homosapian. Greg did not like the flag and asked Anthony multiple times not to wear it but Anthony always said no. Greg said that Anthony was an eyesore.

"Let's go wrangle us up some Disco Cowboys!" Murray said as he tipped his cowboy hat and cracked his cowboy whip. Cowboy hats automatically make you 200% more western, even when you're already living in Western times in 1873.

"You're hat is dumb" Greg said to Anthony. He just could not look past the fact that he was an horrible person and Anthony was a disgusting homo gay. There wasn't anything specifically disgusting about him, his existence itself was enough to disturb Greg to the point of actually wanting to kill Anthony.

"Thank you, Greg" Anthony said, because he was not as much of an asshole and was polite sometimes, even though he was still petty as fuck which is why he only wore bedazzled bell bottom pants even tho greg told him not to. They're very gay pants. For homos.

"You too need to stop fighting all the time" said Murray to Greg and also to Anthony. "It makes everybody else feel super dupes awko taco, and it is not very nice of you to be fighting all the time" he continued. Murray was everybody's favorite wiggle in wiggle town, so Greg and Anthony stopped for a second and though about what he was saying to them. Then they looked at each other.

"pfffttttt" they both said to each other at the same time. Not even encouraging words from our lord and savior Murray the red wiggle could help them now and if blue and yellow were fighting all the time how were they ever going to find the disco cowboys and safe Jeffmothy.


	4. Chapter 4

All was not well in Wiggle town. The purple one was still in an comma and blue and yellow guy were stil fighting every second that they were awkae because they hate each other and that's what you do when you hate a somebody. You fight them with either words or fists and Greg and Anthony had chosen words and not fists. Murray wanted to stop them from fighting, but the only way he could think of was to whip out what he was packing and wave it around in their faces as a distraction but he decided that that would only upset Greg more since he was so afraid of penises that were not his own.

Did Greg even have a pemis? Nobody had ever seen it before so for all anyone knew he could be like a Ken doll underneath his pants (or is it trousers cause they're Australian who cares tho cause they're fucking dum anyway fuck off you're island used to be british jail). Either way, nobody knew how to keep Greg and Anthony from constantly trying to kill each other.

It was so selfish of them to not be able to put aside their sexual differences to save their purple friend and destroy the Disco Cowboys. What fuccin assholes.

THen Murray got had an idea in his head.

"Hey mates!" he said to them and he picked up him guitar. He strummed out a sick riff because he couldn't resist. "Let's play a song together!" He sounded so happy almost like he had not lost the will to live 84 years ago.

"But Murr" Anthony started to say, "what will we do without Jeff? He plays the keyboard in our band the Wigglesand without him we're not a complete quartet."

"Yeah" Added Greg. "His instrument complimented my instrument the best." He continued talking. Greg's instrument was his voice, and he called it his instrument because he was a pretentious fuckhead seriously greg get it together. Murray looked at him like a person having an asthma attack looked at their inhaler from across the room. With very intense need like they're going to die and actually might.

"Greg your instrument doesn't need any compliment" he said very sexually. It was ok though because Murray was bipedal and not a gay like Anthony. Anthony gave Murray a dirt look because of him and his bifocal privilege. "now come on and let's play a music song together with our band the Wiggles **™"**

The three remaining band members each picked up their own instrument (except for greg he just picked up a microphone he didn't rip out his vocal chords you sicko) (and also except for Anthony because he played the drums so he just kind of sat down he didn't pick up a whole drum set you sicko). They decided to play their most famous song: FRuit Salad Yummy Yummy. It goes like this: Fruit Salad Yummy Yummy Fruit Salad Yummy Yummy Fruit Salad Yummy Yummy Yummy Yummy Yummy Yummy Fruit Salad Let's make some fruit salad today (Uh huh uh) It's fun to do it the healthy way (Uh huh uh) Take all the fruit that you want to eat It's gonna be a fruit salad treat Peel your bananas The second step Toss in some some grapes The third step Chop up some apples Chop up some melons burn down your home And put them on your plate Now we've made it It's time to eat it (Uh huh uh) It tastes so good that you just can't beat it (Uh huh uh) Give everyone a plate and a spoon We'll all be eating it very soon The first step Eat up the banana The second step Eat up some grapes The third step Eat up some apples Eat the melons Now there's nothing on your plate Now we've had our fruit salad today (Uh huh uh) It's time to put the scraps away (Uh huh uh) Wash the bowls and wash the spoon Let's do it all again real soon Fruit salad Yummy yummy Fruit salad Yummy yummy Fruit salad Yummy yummy Yummy yummy yummy yummy Fruit salad

They played so good that a small crowd began to form outside of their wiggle house. Everybody in wiggle town loved those wacky Wiggles and they all loved their music even though they only sang about fruit and big red cars and other things like that. The group was so big and so loud and crazy that the Wiggles didn't notice who was in the very back of the crowd. It was…. The Disco Cowboys!


	5. Chapter 5

The Disco Cowboys watched the Wiggles quietly as the band played their fruit song. Everybody around them tho was going fucking insane as though they were at a rock show and not creeping outside the house of a kid music band. For a song that said to use all the fruit you want to eat, it had some oddly specific instructions. What if I didn't want to use bananas in my fruit salad? Now I have to because the Wiggles said so and they said so in a song so they have extra authority. If somebody tells you to do something in a song you aren't allowed to say no.

As luck would have it, there were 4 whole Disco Cowboys. That's the same number as the number of the wiggles that there are. How nobody in the crowd noticed them is a mystery. They were all dressed as old western people, because that's the kind of story this is, but the Disco Cowboys wer not. Instead, the Disco Cowboys were dressed like they came straight out of a roller skating rink in the 70s before that was even a thing. This is 1875 roller skates don't even exist yet.

Each Disco Cowboy had his own color that he only wore and he wore it all the time. The first one only wore black, and he was the leader. The second one only wore orange and he like to eat a lot. The third one only wore green and what was his signature thing even did he have one? The fourth one only wore white and he liked to sleep all the time, but he wasn't sleeping right now. Their names where Grag, Anthiny, Marray, and Joff. Do not confuse them with the Wiggles because they are the Disco Cowboys and not the Wiggles.

Somebody in the crowd realized that there were 4 people behind him that were not having as much fun as everybody else. He turned around to say hey, why aren't you guys having as much fun as everybody else, but instead he just screamed a lot. The sun reflected so brightly off of the Disco Cowboys' sequin shirts that the man went fucking blind and died in the dirt. It was high noon (high noon is the most western time that exists everybody knows that).

The man's screams were attracting attention that the Disco Cowboys didn't want, so Grag took out his gun and shot him in the eyes. He was already blind so he probably didn't really mind to much and even if he did he died right after that so really no harm done amirite ladies? Iamrite ladies. Just so you know.

Gunshots are loud, so at least 8 people heard Grag shoot the blind man because they turned around when they heard the loud bang sound that guns make. Plus it was an old timey western gun so it was probably even louder than the ones we have nowadays. This attention is not what the Disco Cowboys wanted to they turned and walked away, and nobody tried to stop them because they were the Disco Cowboys and everyone in wiggle town knows that you don't fuck with those guys unless you want to die or whatever.


End file.
